Salt Spring Has Issues: Musings from an Island you thought you knew. by John Bateman

Author:John Bateman [Bateman, John]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Blessed Culmination Publishing
Published: 2018-06-16T00:00:00+00:00

Island Spacetime

Confession: Not unlike Albert Einstein, I'm a theoretical physics enthusiast. For those laymen who are not sure what theoretical physics is, allow me to enlighten you. It's something to do with space or rockets and time or something. For my purposes I will be focusing on the time aspect.

Before I arrived on Salt Spring I didn't even think time existed. I thought it was a human construct, created exclusively to enable people to make a proper soft boiled egg. After being on Salt Spring for a while, I have become acutely aware of the existence of time. There is an old saying, "Welcome to Salt Spring, the island that time forgot, or forgot time, or vice versa, or versa vice." I hate most sayings.

Folk wisdom on Salt Spring dictates that as soon as you arrive, you may as well throw your watch away, because the island moves at a different pace. My experience thus far has led me to believe that that "wisdom" is accurate. A few years after setting foot on the island, I read a short story of Arthur Black's first experience on Salt Spring. In it he spoke of a person who took their watch off, then never found a reason to put it back on again. Coincidentally, my only friend on Salt Spring speaks of having had the same experience. I suppose it's also coincidence that half of my conversations with him revolve around what time it presently is.

I think it's time we adopted a new folk saying, "Welcome to Salt Spring, the island that has an unhealthy obsession with time." As a matter of fact, Salt Spring's dysfunctional relationship with time has birthed the greatest theoretical concept since the "Space/Time" theory. That of course is the theory of "Island Time." Whether you've been here for 50 years or 50 seconds, chances are you've heard of Island Time. Island Time is loosely defined as: The belief that time moves differently on Salt Spring, because Salt Spring is "more special" that the rest of the universe. The reality of Island Time is not as concise as said definition. The implication is that everything moves at a more relaxed pace. Apparently there's a fine line between relaxed and lethargic.

If you don't believe this fine line exists, try having a business meeting over coffee, buying groceries without talking to anyone or waiting for a public washroom to free-up. Island Time can actually be witnessed in action everywhere on the Salt Spring. There's that pothole that Highways has slated to be fixed in 1994. There's no question that the theory of Island Time is true. Unfortunately it will need approval from the Islands Trust to become a law, which will take anywhere between one month and eternity. Until then, the Island Time Paradox it is.

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